"The Diet" (Part Two)

The real test of "The Diet" was going home to Oregon for the holidays. We decided it would be impossible to limit her exposure to the "bad foods" so we just let up completely. By the end of the three day period, my sister and I witnessed Amie running around in a tight circle flapping her arms around like a severly autistic child. It was like she was on drugs. As our eyes locked across the room she said, "It's amazing...the difference between the kid that arrived here 3 days ago, and this one..."

It wasn't scientific, but I felt it was a sign.

We went back on the diet immediately and I've been documenting that and other successes and failures ever since. I have started a few free-standing pages here with kid-friendly GF/CF foods and recipies and tricks for making foods, snacks and going out to eat Gluten and Dairy free. I'm not making any claims here...this is just the Cliff notes from a kitchen and parenting novice who spent a lot of time and waaay too much money learning...

I figure, if you can get a toddler to like it, then it's probably pretty tasty...and, as we are teaching Amie, it's nice to share.


P.S. All of the stuff posted here is only if it's worth trying.
The foods we have that haven't worked are not posted.
The things that she particularly loves or responds to, I've marked "Amie Approved".

"The Diet" (Part One)

In the beginning days of facing the fact that Amelie might have Autism, there were some tortured and sleepless nights. What did I do wrong? Was it the red wine I drank at my baby shower? What about the time I wasn't paying attention and she cut her forehead so deep she had to get stitches? And what about those vaccinations...??
Jenny McCarthy's book "Louder than Words" had me up reading half the night- bundled up on my couch with blankets and a box of kleenex. I laughed until I cried- and I cried a lot. I knew that if Jenny could be as brave as she clearly was, then I could too. She claims to have "pulled (her son) out of autism" by following the Gluten Free / Caesin free diet.

Deep down, I was feeling a very real lack of control with this situation. A diet is something I could tackle with wild abandon and possibly get results from quickly. I did my research (online and by talking to people I knew who also follow it). I started attracting these people like fly paper! At the grocery store, at the cross walk... All of the sudden, it seemed like everyone in the world knew about the benefits of living Gluten and Dairy Free.

I knew this was not going to be easy. Let's be honest- it's hard enough to quit cheese and bread as an adult. Turning the train around with a string-cheese-obsessed toddler is a whole different story. What? Frozen chicken nuggets and pasta are made with wheat? Mama was going to learn how to cook--really cook-- and fast.

I'll never forget the first time I came home from the grocery store, $200 receipt in hand, after having spent hours reading labels. Tim just rolled his eyes at me- which caused mine to tear up with anger. But I persevered. To make things easier, I separated all of the "safe for Amie" foods. Then I began to research websites and recipies and pre-made foods and condiments. The tastes were wide ranging- but we found some winners.

Eventually, after 3 months of learning my lessons the hard way, things have gotten easier, and less expensive. I finally even have Timmy on board too! The key has been preparation- which is good for us on every level...

The Charger and the Thinker

I am a charger. If a problem arises, I'm one of the first people to identify it and (putting ego aside) work to correct it.

Tim is a thinker. He is more comfortable calmly pondering the information and possible solutions..." sit on it and let life take it's course" ... "watch and wait".

When our daughter- the most important thing in both of our lives - became "afflicted" with this unknown diagnosis, we each did what came naturally...

I went running from the building, straight to a computer. I cried through the most touching videos - parents describing the journey's they have taken, watching their children degenerate. I began to get anxious. I spoke to my mom, who not only is an amazing mom, but has also been trained to care for autistic children. I spoke to my sister, Melissa, a special-ed grade school teacher. She confirmed that Amelie did indeed show signs of Aspergers Syndrome- particularly in her frequent shows of resistance. I read articles, books and interviews. I stayed up all night long and read Jenny McCarthy's "Louder Than Words". (A great and empowering book which gave me strength through some dark days. I heart you Jenny)- then I put the whole family on the GF/CF diet. I paced. I fretted. I talked and reached out.

Tim, on the other hand, retreated. He lay horizontal, catanoic, staring at the TV screen. His voice was quieter, his hugs were longer, his eyes were tired. He became frustrated at my buzzing energy and boundless "solutions". I became irritated with his seeming lack of caring.

One morning I called Melissa with this problem. She laughed and said that it was normal for the father to experience more "denial" or at least to deal with it differently. Her casual demeanor regarding what I thought was going to be a major issue somehow gave me comfort. "It's very common." she said. "Try not push him. He needs his space right now to handle it in his own way."
"Besides," she added, "You don't even know what this is yet..."

The difference in parenting and living styles is something I'm sure all parents and partners struggle with. Dealing with a child with 'special needs' just puts those struggles under a microscope. So many times I've screamed to myself, "It would be SO much easier if I could just do this on my own...make my own choices and solutions with nobody fighting me!!"

But, time has shown me that is not the case. He is the only one who can comfort me when tantruming just won't end. He's the only one that secretly chuckles with me when she says something that sounds absurd because she can't find the words yet. He's the only one that loves her as much as I do. Maybe we don't always agree on the methods, but I could never, ever do this without him.

The Beginning

Hello,
My name is Denice. I am mother to Amelie, a three year old girl living in Southern California.
One of the most scary days of my life was when my husband and I were seated at the small table in her preschool class and told that she was delayed in speech- possibly due to neurological problems.
"They are calling it Autism these days." her teacher said, as my eyes glazed over, gut churning.
Like many parents, we had heard some general statistics- that Autism diagnoses are on the rise, that there are many advocates and programs out there, that there is no real "cure"... And, like many parents, we went through the same stages of outrage, numbness, denial, anger and depression. Over time, we each tackled this knowledge in different ways- attempting to work together but finding the differences in our individual problem solving styles as challenging as the news itself.

The first few months have been difficult, to say the least. We've done exhaustive testing, reading and diet experimentation -at least as much as one can do while raising a toddler and working full time.

We certainly don't know everything yet- we don't have a diagnosis, a permanent plan or any medically definitive results from the things we have tried. What we do know is that we are on a journey- like every parent. There is still a lot of inner debate, turmoil and exploration. We want only to do right by our little girl and we love her enough never to stop trying- but also enough to keep her from feeling continually under the microscope or "different". We've observed that sometimes kids don't know how to share things with us verbally. We learn from them in the quiet moments- through their tiny whispers.

This is a place we've established to share the things Amelie is teaching us. We hope it can help you too.

Thanks,

Denice